By and large, estate plans are typically private matters that not something everyone in your life needs to know in detail. The decisions about whom to trust with decision-making power and how you plan to distribute your wealth is your business. For married couples, they will naturally know the details of plans they created together. But beyond that, does anyone else really need to know? And if they do, who should you tell about your estate plan?

The short answer to the first question is yes. There are good reasons for keeping certain aspects of your estate plan private. Just remember, if you keep too many details private or forget to update others, your well-planned estate may not work properly. An estate plan cannot work if it is invisible. If no one knows that your plan exists or if no one can access your documents, it may as well not exist. Verbal promises carry no weight—simply telling someone about your goals and wishes is not enough. Your wishes must be properly documented.

A Tiered Approach to Divulging Your Plans 

Keeping an estate plan private makes sense to an extent. Many choose trust-based plans, in order to keep their contents private. This is due to wills undergo public probate, which lets anyone access court records about you and your estate. But within family, you might keep your estate plan private to avoid drama and hurt feelings over roles and inheritance. Or you might worry that if word spreads about your plan, others will influence your decisions. Instead, you may prefer to make rational, unemotional choices, free from the competing voices of friends and family who stand to inherit.

While you have the right to keep your estate plan private, doing so does not always serve your best interest. The real question becomes: how do you share something so personal without feeling like you broadcast it to the world? The trick is knowing who should know what, when to tell them, why to tell them, and how to tell them. “Telling” someone ranges from sharing all plan documents and vault keys to informing them they’re named and whom to contact. A tiered communication approach helps you share the right information at the right time, reduces confusion, avoids disputes, and eases stress for decision-makers and beneficiaries.

Tier One:  Trusted Decision-Makers (Full Access)

Who: The People You Have Legally Appointed to Act on Your Behalf, including:

• your spouse or significant other (especially if you planned together, share joint accounts or property, or live in a community property state, or if you appointed them to one of the roles below, since they may need to act quickly or coordinate with other decision-makers)
• a personal representative or independent executor (carries out the terms of your will and oversees the probate process, if one is needed)
• a trustee and a successor trustee (manages accounts and property that were or will be funded into the trust according to your trust agreement)
• an agent under a financial power of attorney (handles your finances, either immediately or, in some cases, only if you are unable to manage them)
• an agent under a medical power of attorney (makes healthcare decisions if you cannot make them or communicate your wishes)
• a guardian for minor children (provides care for those who rely on you)

What: Enough Information to Act Immediately and Effectively, including:

• the location of your completed estate planning documents (will, trust, powers of attorney, healthcare directives), including where originals are kept and where copies or electronic versions can be found
• information on how to access these documents if the originals are stored somewhere such as in a safe deposit box or home safe
• a list of all your assets (including financial accounts, real property, business interests, digital assets)
• instructions for special property (for example, businesses, firearms, intellectual property, pets)
• digital storage location and credentials (secure cloud vault, encrypted drive) for any digital assets (emails, business documents, electronic financial accounts), this includes logins, passwords, pin numbers, and any other two-factor authentication information
• contact information for your estate planning attorney
• your wishes and goals, including the choices you have made in your plan and how you want your decision-makers to carry out their responsibilities once they step into their role

You may decide that the agents named in your medical power of attorney are less likely to need detailed financial information. However, they should still know where to access your estate planning documents.

When:

• as soon as possible after you appoint them to the role, this is especially true for sharing health care documents like Medical Power of Attorney and Guardianship of Minor Children
• any time you appoint new decision-makers or change the order in which you have appointed them to serve
• whenever you move your estate planning documents to store them in a new location
• periodically, to confirm that they are still willing and able to serve

Why:

• they cannot do their job if they do not know they have been appointed and how to access what they need
• delays in knowing or confusion about who is in charge and where your documents are located can cost money, result in unintended property damage, or cause unnecessary family stress and conflict

How:

• meet in person or via video to explain their role and your goals and desires
• provide a written “roadmap” with tasks they will need to perform, a list of everything you own, and key contacts (for example, your financial advisor, attorney, accountant, insurance agent, etc.)
• store digital copies securely and share controlled access with the relevant decision-makers
• confirm that they accept the role and understand the responsibilities

Tier Two:  Primary Beneficiaries (Selective Access and Strategic Sharing)

Who: The Individuals or Entities You’ve Chosen to Inherit From You, including:

• spouse or significant other
• children, grandchildren, or other relatives
• friends or nonrelatives
• charities or nonprofits
• religious institutions
• educational institutions

You may share plans with loved ones expecting inheritance, especially if excluding, providing differently, or giving less than others. Though uncomfortable, discussing your plans now prevents surprises and eases burdens on your decision-makers and loved ones later.

What:

• the nature of the gift (money, real estate, investments, personal property)
• any obligations attached to the inherited item (taxes, upkeep, management, legal restrictions)
• their right to refuse the gift (disclaim an inheritance), with the caution that the disclaimer must be made before they take ownership or control of the item

When:

• the sooner the better if the gift is complex, burdensome, or potentially unwanted
• more flexibility in timing if the gift is straightforward and unlikely to cause issues—but do not wait until it is too late

Why:

• prevents surprises that can cause stress or resentment
• allows time for the beneficiary to prepare for upkeep, sale, or management
• gives you a chance to reallocate gifts that might otherwise be refused

How:

• communicate in person, by phone, or in writing
• explain expectations or conditions attached to the gift
• For sensitive gifts, discuss with your attorney present to ease discomfort and create a record of your intentions.

Consequences:

• Safe deposit boxes:  The executor cannot find your original will and believes it may be in your safe deposit box at the bank, but their name is not on the account, forcing a court order to allow court-staff to open it.
• Forgotten passwords: Digital estate planning documents are stored in the cloud, but the account credentials were never shared, leaving files permanently inaccessible.
• Disappearing executor or successor trustee: Your named executor or successor trustee moved away years ago, changed phone numbers, and cannot be reached when needed, and you did not appoint a backup.
• Unwanted gift: You leave your classic car to a loved one who you know will treasure it as you did. However, they do not have the space or resources to maintain it and reluctantly refuse the gift. If you did not name a backup beneficiary, the car passes to your residuary beneficiaries, who may not value or appreciate it.
• Long-lost co-owners: If a vacation home left to a nephew is actually co-owned with a distant cousin, your nephew is forced into a joint ownership arrangement that leads to years of awkward and expensive disputes.
• The “final will” turns up: Multiple unsigned drafts are found on the decedent’s desk, with no clear final version. Your loved ones are left to argue among themselves and in court over what your true intent was.

We’re Here to Help

Your death is more than an administrative process, but thinking about your estate plan in that way can inform practical choices that make wrapping up your estate smoother for everyone involved. An estate plan works best with a communication plan that shares the right information to the right people timely. If you are unsure how to strike that balance, or who should know about your plan, call us to discuss your plan and devise the best strategy for informing your loved ones. You work daily to build a life; we design a unique plan to protect you and your loved ones. Nielson Law PLLC Provides family-focused estate and business planning to individuals and families in Austin, Round Rock, Cedar Park, and the Central Texas area. For more information, and to learn about our firm, please contact us.